Thoughtless Affections
by DasMervin
Summary: Seras thought fondly of the night she'd been wrapped up and in her Master's arms...


Title: Thoughtless Affections

Genre: Humor, with some romance thrown in there for kicks.

Ships: Just some Seras/Pip. It's definitely not Alucard/Seras, as you'll see when you read it. I think I'm getting sucked into that romance, as I am loving Pip's character more and more.

Summary: Just some musings of Seras as she grudgingly drinks her blood one night. Same as always—I don't know the Manga like the back of my hand, but I do have a general idea of it. I hope I got everyone in character (I have a feeling the part about Seras drinking the medical blood may be Anime influenced, but bear with me—it seemed to fit in the story…I think that's the only thing in there directly from the Anime that I don't think happens in the Manga). Doesn't have a specific time—you pick when it is.

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Seras did not like drinking blood. Granted, that which she drank was only donated blood packs, and she drank it as little as possible—but she still hated drinking it. Despite the fact it made her feel so much better and, even though the stuff was cold, made her feel warm and alive, she despised drinking it. It made her feel less human to do so.

_You _aren't_ human, stupid_, her mind reminded her. She ripped the back open with a little more force than she had intended and had to throw her hands over the bowl to make sure she didn't spill it everywhere. She then sighed and began to drink it, one slow spoonful at a time.

Seras was depressed. No, depressed was not the word. She was _mooning_. Mooning over a tall, dark, mysterious individual with impeccable tastes in clothing that suited him, a sick, twisted mind, and a monstrous personality. She was practically the sighing schoolgirl swooning over her professor.

Seras was thinking about Alucard.

Today, he'd threatened her if she didn't drink her blood. He'd said he'd be more than happy to force-feed her, because the more she struggled, the more fun it would be for him. _I love it when my catch fights me—it makes everything more exciting_, he'd purred, one red eye visible through the tinted lenses he always wore. She'd felt rooted to the spot as he stared at her, one of his teeth slipping over his lower lip as he grinned in a way that was most unpleasant. Not desiring to be treated as mere prey or be disgraced and shamed, she mumbled an acknowledgement and slunk back to her room (despite the fact she'd secretly been thrilled at the concept of his hands on her). Which led her back to now.

Alucard was not one to pay attention to anyone but himself. Seras knew what he was—he was a selfish, monstrous, psychotic, thoughtless bastard. The only time he'd ever be concerned about something other than himself was if Integra was being threatened. However, that didn't stop him from tormenting Integra constantly—Seras felt sorry for the woman. She had absolutely no privacy. Well, she didn't either, but that was different. Master was never so rude as to show up while she was bathing or changing. He would just rise up through the table when she was staring at her blood and menace her until she began drinking it.

Which made her think of all the things Master was fond of doing to her. He made it very clear almost every day exactly what he thought of her—he thought she was a dunder-head. He would poke at her, tease her, and, when it came to battle, would almost always let her fend for herself. He never called her by her name, and called her "Police Girl" only when he was feeling nice. She'd been called quite an assortment of names by her Master—most of them along the lines of dunce, idiot, moron, nitwit, and wretch. Any time she made a mistake, he was there, ready with that condescending voice and that evil, toothy grin.

_Master is an arrogant, self-absorbed bastard, and he treats me very badly—so why am I fretting over him?!_ she hissed at herself, drinking her blood angrily now. Unfortunately, she knew why she was fretting over him. It was for a few select reasons. Like the first night she'd ever met him.

Her vision had been fading and she'd felt horribly weak—but she very clearly remembered the last few moments she'd had as a human. Her blood had been all around her. Alucard had been standing over her, looking down at her with those red eyes of his. He'd then given her the choice—life or death. She'd chosen life, not really understanding what was being offered at the time. However, he'd knelt beside her the instant she said yes, his mouth twisting into a grin. That had frightened her—but then he'd carefully lifted her to him, holding her close to his chest, one of his hands behind her head. For some reason, remembering that always made her shiver with delight. And thinking about the way he'd leaned forward and slowly licked away a trail of blood trickling from her mouth made her just lean her head into her hands and sigh, a stupid grin on her face. Then she'd passed out, and awoke to find him carefully and gently wrapping her in a blanket. She'd said nothing—just leaned heavily against him as he picked her up bridal style and had carried her away from Cheddars.

Thinking about that made her woozy and just want to run to Alucard and ask him to do it again. Which she knew would get her ears boxed (or worse, shot off), so she just would sit and grin dumbly, thinking about what that felt like again and again.

Then there was the fact that she was constantly chasing two words from him—"Good job." They were so simple, and yet…it was praise from her Master. He very rarely complimented her on her work. Ever since that "good job" she'd gotten after killing the girlfriend of the one he'd destroyed, she'd been chasing that terse and somehow flattering nod of approval from him. And just so long as that was all he knew she was chasing—she wasn't chasing him, but she was doggedly (and embarrassedly) chasing a few dreams she'd had of him.

They were not smutty dreams—she had not awoken sweaty and had to change her underwear as quickly as possible. After the first one, she'd awoken somehow warm and fuzzy, her face buried against the pillow she'd snuck into her coffin, arms wrapped tightly around it, a content little smile on her face. She'd immediately thrown the pillow away from herself and tried to scramble away, which had, of course, resulted in a sore head and scraped elbows. She'd been dreaming about that feeling of being embraced by him—his arms protectively holding her, that strange scent that was simply _him_…she wanted that very badly. Alucard made her feel _safe_. Alucard made her feel, of all things, warm and _human_. That first dream had made her flush horribly—however, shyly, she began wanting it more and more. Then she started dreaming about it again. She hadn't had it very much at all—in fact, she didn't even know if she was dreaming. As far as she knew, her Master didn't dream. However, she never saw him sleep, either, so she didn't know anything about Master's private habits.

She sighed, pushing the now empty bowl away from herself. Yes, it was nice to have little and innocent fantasies (although she knew she would find a way to kill herself if Master ever found out about them), but Alucard made it very clear that he had very little respect for her, and he made it even clearer that he had absolutely no interest in her. Seras felt childish whenever she'd feel a pang of jealousy flicker through her when she saw her Master and Integra simply talking or sitting together—that same jealousy painted all sorts of pictures of Alucard sweeping his master off her feet and kissing her passionately and writing love poetry to her. However, as soon as it happened, she would laugh at the sheer absurdity the image of Alucard reciting his own love poetry to his master gave her. Alucard was hardly a romantic—and even if he was one, his would not be all cuddly and filled with passionate nights. She knew her master was extremely courtly—his age showed his 'upbringing.' And a romance between Integra Hellsing and Master was fairly ridiculous—Integra and Alucard didn't mix in any situation except business, as far as she'd seen.

She rose from her chair and left her room—it wasn't dawn, therefore she wasn't tired. She had an hour or two to muse on the imagined affections Alucard gave her when they were really only thoughtless gestures on his part. Wandering the halls seemed like a good idea—her Master did it all the time, so why not her?

She immediately regretted doing so, as she ran across someone she wasn't too thrilled to see at the moment.

"'ello, Seras. I thought for sure you would be in your room," Pip said, pushing his hat up a little and grinning at her, his one eye straying very little from both of hers. Seras resisted the childish temptation to stick her tongue out at him.

"Why would I be in there? I'm not confined," she said, sounding a little more defensive than she would've liked. Pip raised his hands in front of him, chuckling a little.

"Relax, I'm not 'arassing you," he said.

"You are—what are _you_ doing up late?" she shot back, crossing her arms in front of her. Pip scratched his neck nonchalantly and pulled his braid from around his neck.

"I 'ave a tendency to wander myself," he replied, smiling in a rather goofy manner. She couldn't help herself—she smiled back.

"Wanna sit and talk a little?" he asked. Seras contemplated—she remembered the extraordinarily rude song he'd sung to her not very long ago—just thinking about it made her hackles rise—but she decided that, if they were going to be working together, they had best get along a little better than they had been.

"Uh…sure…um…where?" she said, not knowing where to go for a late night chat. Pip, however, seemed to know.

"Great. Come on," he said lazily, walking a few doors down and opening one of them. Seras followed him a warily looked inside.

It was a dimly lit room that was about like a small living room. There were some chairs, a nice table and a lamp or two. This was acceptable. She followed him in and waited for him to sit in one of the chairs before taking the one that was a good distance away from him. Pip only grinned that infuriating grin at her when she did that.

"So you're one of zem. Nice flicks you have, girlie," he said wryly. Seras blushed a little at that.

"I was only trying to prove that I was a vampire—Integra ordered it. Besides, you deserved it, for being rotten," she retorted. Pip snorted.

"I don't zink I can be blamed for doubting your abilities, Seras—you don't fit ze picture for vampires," he said. Seras bristled.

"And what, exactly, _is_ the picture for vampires?" she demanded. Pip grinned at her again, making her want to run up to him and flick his head right off.

"Alucard is. Pretty little girls with innocent faces and sweet little smiles aren't," he answered, leveling a one-eyed gaze at her that she didn't know what to make of. She was angry, flattered, flustered, bothered, and confused all at the same time. Pip wasn't exactly the sweetest of guys, nor was he one to compliment women. But had he just done so? Or was he making fun of her again…

"What, exactly, was it you wanted to talk about?" she managed to spit out, unable to think of anything else. Pip raised an eyebrow.

"Nothing. I just wanted to talk—'owever, I can see ze thought is not ze same on ze other end—I'll let you get back to whatever it was you were doing," he said lazily, not moving from his chair. Seras stayed where she was for a few moments, very uncomfortable, then finally got up.

"The sun will be rising soon—I had better get back anyway," she said, trying to find an excuse. Pip didn't say anything—he was just smiling at her. She backed away, then turned and began to walk away. She'd just reached the door when he spoke again.

"Dinner sometime?" he called. Seras froze. Her brain had gone numb at his request—she wasn't sure if it was outrage or actually her being flattered by his desire to go to dinner with her. She turned very slowly and faced him, trying to get her mouth and tongue to work again.

_**Take it, Police Girl.**_

"MASTER!!" she shrieked, jumping. Pip jumped with her, nearly falling out of his chair. He blinked, rather confused at her behavior.

"What ze bloody 'ell?!" he exclaimed. Seras blushed furiously, then blushed even harder when her Master's sultry voice came back to her again.

_**Take the offer. Do it, now.**_

She found herself answering before she could even contradict him—Master had that much command over her. "I—I don't…yes, I will. But we'll have to discuss it later, I'm very tired," she added quickly, and then fled from the room before he could say anything else. She all but flew down the hallway and back to her room. The instant she reached it, she wrenched the door open and slammed it shut equally fast. Leaning against it, she struggled to catch her breath. She scowled when her Master's chuckle echoed through her head. When she saw Alucard again—

_**Excellent, Police Girl. Now maybe you'll dream about him instead of me.**_

**_

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Well, there's the end. I was going to continue it, but that sentence seemed to be a good one to end it on. I hope you enjoyed it, and, as I said before, I don't know the Manga backwards and forwards. I'm sorry if the Anime and the Manga are accidentally combined, as I know there are people out there who regard that as sin. I'm terribly sorry if I did. I hope everyone is, once again, in character. I'm worried about Pip—I didn't care for him much at first, but, the more I read him, the more I loved him (and the more I support Seras/Pip). I am positive he is somewhat out of character, but keep in mind I have never really written him out before—tell me if he's out of character, but don't beat me over the head with it. Thank you for sticking it out til the end and reading my lousy writing. Review if you care to—tell me what is wrong and right, if anything. Thanks again._**


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